Pardon the bluriness, but this shit was epic. Check them out and fall in love.
So, I have a bunch on my mind today, and what better a place to express that than to total strangers on the Internet. On a sidenote, right now, I'm listening to Chad Stokes' (of Dispatch and State Radio) new album, and it's fantastic. So if you want a good listen, and want to hear what's going through my head as I write this, check it here. So, recently, I've been doing a lot of thinking about life and relationships and stuff like that, which is always a fun subject to talk about and think about. I had a completely fascinating conversation with someone who thought that monogamy was totally unnatural and the thought of being with only one person from your early twenties to when you die is ridiculous.
Now, I don't know how much I agree or disagree with this, but it is certainly thought-provoking. Who am I to know that the person who I find at 22 is the right person and the person who I should spend the rest of my life with? How do I know that there isn't someone out there who fits me perfectly and we just haven't met. Or maybe it's someone that I have met, and just haven't had the chance with. Interesting shit. I mean, I suppose in a perfect world, polygamy would be perfectly acceptable, but I mean, really, we all know that's not the case.
I mean, I guess it works out for some people...
But here I am, trying to figure out just what I want, and it's not the easiest thing in the world. There are some pretty fantastic people out there, and I'm trying to make myself happy without fucking over the wrong person. Tough task, but I'm up for it. I love a good adventure. And who knows what life has in store for me, but I'm not one to turn away from a challenge. To quote my second favorite movie about cheerleading, "Bring It On".
My first obviously being Sugar and Spice.
So who knows what I'm doing. I'm trying to figure out my life, and trying to do me and be happy, and who knows what will happen or what I'll encounter along the way. But I'm ready, and willing, so let's fucking do this, world.
Moving on, a little while ago, I wrote/ranted about the fabulous world of retail, and my complaints about it. So, after working 10 days straight, I kept a little mental list of things that people do/say that bother the shit out of me. So, without further adieu, I give you all....
Wurt the Furk: Retail - Part Deux
1) Don't call me "honey". Or "sweetie", or "hun", or any of that bullshit. We're not in an intimate relationship, you're not my mother. There's no need to bring pet names into this situation. I'm just selling you clothes. Actually, this rule goes for most people in my life. Unless we've seen each other naked, don't call me a pet name.
2) When I tell you that I don't know something, I'm not holding out information. I honestly have no fucking clue. Now, backstory on this one. My shithole mall is maybe closing, maybe not, however, every other store except mine and two others have stayed open. Do I know when we're closing? No. Fuck you, I honestly have no idea. And when I say I don't know, it's not a conspiracy, I'm just a 22 year old part time manager. I actually have no idea. Sorry
3) If I say we don't have a size, don't get personally offended with me. I'm the footwear boss. Or footwear Bass, whatever you want. So, if there's a shoe in our lovely mens footwear department, chances are, it's passed through my hands first. So you know what, I actually know my shit. If I tell you that we don't have a fucking shoe, we don't have it. I'm not lying to you because I'm lazy, I just know how to do my job. Don't get all butthurt at me for not being able to manifest your shoe out of my ass.
4) Don't get offended when I ask if you need help. Part of my job is making sure your dumb ass is finding everything you need at our super discounted prices, so don't act like I'm invading your personal shopping space when I approach you and ask if you're finding everything okay. Look, I don't really want to talk to you either, but let's just pretend and then both go our separate ways. Which brings us to...
4A) Dear Company that Employees Me, people don't want to be fucking bothered when they're shopping. I know I don't. If I am following some guy around asking if he's found that perfect mandal for his hobbit feet and bothering the shit out of him, he's probably going to get annoyed. How about we let out people shop, and if they need help, I'm the one with the Bass nametag that says "Chris!".
Bother bother bother bother bother bother
5) Don't over-personalize our encounter. I'm just ringing you up, or helping you find something. I don't need the backstory. Unless you're an adorable lady just coming from a massive topless beach party in which the only man couldn't make it and you'd love me to come, I really don't need to know. I have had my fairshare of overshares, for example, when asking someone why they're returning an item, the always incorrect answer is "the person I bought it for just died." Like, that's probably the most depressing and worst thing you could say. I sympathize with you, and I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm just trying to do my job. Next time, let's just say "It didn't fit", and I'll give you money and you can go mourn. Seriously people. Have some fucking tact.
That's really all I can think of right now, give me another week of working and I'm sure I'll be able to come up with more, or maybe I'll keep you all more informed about the other aspects of my life. Fourth of July weekend is coming up, and that is going to be spectacular, so I'm sure I'll have some stories from that venture. Hopefully I'll hit y'all with a little bit o' blog soon. Until then, much love to you all, and keep on keepin' on, and I'll do the same.
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