Facebook Creepers

Alright everyone, it’s been almost two weeks since my last post here, and I’m sorry, my children, I did not mean to leave you like that. I’ve been super busy with finals and finishing up school, and then on top of it all I got sick, so there’s my list of excuses. You’re all welcome to come to my pity party, formal dress required. Other than my woes, not much has happened within the past two weeks that I’ve left you all. Cinco de Mayo happened, that was a good time, I put a dent in that alcohol cache that I had stocked up, and was more hung over than I have been in quite some time.

But you guys don’t really care about my drinking stories, and if you do, get to know me on a personal level (my Facebook and Twitter are over there in the whatsit, and look at that, I just linked them there too, such a nice guy I am). You guys come here for some other reason, whether it be to hear me bitch, or see what pictures I post regarding my life, or you accidently clicked on to here, and if that’s the case, sorry that I’ve wasted your time, continue your search for internet porn.

I usually talk about what’s going on in my life, but it seriously hasn’t been that much. I’m really happy with how things are now. All of my positive energy is really coming back to me in the ways that I want it to, and I couldn’t be happier. All of the pieces of the puzzle that has been my life for the past months are falling into place. I’m just a really happy guy. Which is very cool for me to say, because I haven’t been able to say that for a while. Things are really looking up…bitch.

But enough of that. There are a few things that I haven’t done in quite some time, and one of those is a Wurt the Furk. Now, like I said, I originally wanted to do these more often or weekly, but pshhhh, let’s be honest, I’m not that good. So now I just do them when something starts to bother me. I’m sure most of you can relate to this.

Wurt the Furk: Facebook Abusers

We all have those friends on Facebook that we cringe when we see their stupid little face pop up under anything someone posts. They’re that person that always has to say something. Regardless of how ignorant they sound. They have opinions and thoughts and the world needs to hear them. NOW.

Like seriously? There is no need comment on every fucking thing someone posts. Let me illustrate. Note that all names are made up or borrowed, and have no connection to actual people I’m talking about:

David Bowie is Out getting crunk! Wooo!

                Keith Richards BOYS NIGHT WOO, YOU’LL HAVE TO INVITE ME NEXT TIME

David Bowie loves it when I turn and face the strange

                Keith Richards OH MAN THAT SUCKS LOLOLOLOL

Like, seriously, Keith Richards, there’s a reason David Bowie doesn’t want to fucking hang out with you. Stop commenting on all of his shit. And don’t be fooled by my lame example, David Bowie isn’t the only one Keith Richards is bothering.

Seriously, look at Keith Richards. David Bowie is just trying to get his mack on. Total cockblock.

Other than just commenting on anything and everything, these special Facebook creatures find the need to broadcast their social and political views to the world. And if you don’t follow their beliefs, then holy shit, you are wrong. Contrary to popular belief, Facebook is a terrible place to post your political or religious or (insert other controversial subject here), it’s a place to reconnect with friends, or creep on the hotties. Giggity. Seriously, get your soap boxing, political bullshit outta here.

Another example of Facebook abuse that I hate is the pointless status. I was going to offend my actual friends by posting their real statuses, but that would be rude. But looking at the news feed right now, I see a whole lot of vague complaints, i.e. “wicked bad mood”, a lot of song lyrics that just hit you in that right spot, and of course the stereotypical “oUt WiTh mi GuRlZzZ <33343”. No one gives a shit. If you’re in a “wicked bad mood”, don’t post it on Facebook. Fucking call a friend, and say “Hey, I’m pissed off, talk to me about it.” Posting it on Facebook would be like gathering everyone you ever knew up together, and just saying, “Man am I in a bad mood”, and then making them guess what was wrong.

Argh. Now I’ve got myself going. ANOTHER THING. If you are going to use the computer, please learn
how to spell. Firefox even spell checks for you. Better yet, if you really want to be sure, you might as well type your comments in Word first, just to be sure. If that fails, well, then you probably shouldn’t be using a computer.

This is getting very long and ranty at this point, so I’m gonna wrap it up. I’ve written this whole thing in Word because Blogger is down for service right now, so I’m just waiting to post. I’ll leave you all with some tunage, and be sure to pass this shit on to your friends if you think they’ll like hearing what’s in my head. If not, then fuck you. Peace out, my lovers.